I know and prolly dont know sum of u still come to this site and realize that i havent updated in ages and that is bc i moved to a new online journal site so dont think i have been leaving u hanging just updating my ever-so lovely life sumwhere else so if u would like u can go to the website i will put on here and go check it out. Personally, I think its way better so u better lve comments and subscribe bc im just *awesome* duh lol and this esp. goes out to my friend overseas, Yasuyo who always goes here and nothing is going on so this is for u girl bc i finally did this LoL and I had to make a new xanga also bc it screwed up on me so this is farewell! I love ya guys ~april

   Well haven't updated in like forever but nothing has really happened and I just never get on anymore bc I don't have time. The past 2 weeks of school have been rough from Christmas break whew! lol and, this week on thursday was the last day of the semster, it really didn't hit me in til' first period when Daph was like 2day marks a year and a half exactly for us. It's still nuts to think that, I can't believe I only got a  year and a half of school wow.

  I got my hair cut. I actually like it, I just gotta go get sum more highlights hehe The boy's basketball team won their second game against Bethel-tate it was awesome. I dont like felicity ppl they are so freakin rude and my cousin is the principal of the school haha but we def. have made a new enemy i cant wait til they come to blan its gonna be world war 3 i am tellin ya what lol 2nite at the home basketball game against Massie, the colorguard performed at half-time. I had so much fun, it was a blast! We did 'When the sun goes down' and the crowd was so into it was awesome. I wish we could do it again, when we did the big toss everyone went crazy i was like omgosh im pumped now. I was so nervous but it was a blast to get out there and have sum fun & we got a standing o from massie too that is fn awesome we are just rockin it. And, we lost but it was all good in the hood Corey played really good 2nite He almost dunked it he was so close he'll get it though and its gonna be kick @$$

  Oh I got Corey's class ring finally LoL its freakin huge but its ok i got it to work. Our 7-months is coming up on the 24th. Wow lol it actually doesnt seem that long but then again it does. in 5 months is 1 year that is even more crazier. I miss him haha that is so patheic but hes at matts house and it makes me kinda jealous bc matt gets to be with him haha but oh well its o.k. im with him like everyday i know. I dont want to seem like im taking him for granted bc thats the last thing i would do bc who knows when the last time will be. Its really hard to like sumbody so much and having the fear of losing them its one of the worse thoughts and feelings.

   I miss my friend Kacy!  I havent got to talk to her for like 2 weeks 2nite we finally got to talk! shes just the freakin crap and we havent got to hang out for awhile and that is a freakin bummer i heart u! lol

   This weekend, since its a 4-day weekend! Yeehaw! 2morrow nite, Corey and I are going to go see "Coach Carter" sumwhere if he doesnt stay with matt the whole weekend jpjp Sunday, im hanging out with corey and monday hanging out with corey haha ill be on sumtime dunno when tho
  
   well thats it im a bit sleepy now so ima hit the road xoxo

                                   april karin
P.s. I love corey m.!

how long will you two be together?
Created by -dark-angl- and taken 28 times on bzoink!
your name
your age
how long have you been together?
his/her name
his/her age
you will be together for...	forever!

 How cool is that!! ^^^ omgosh..:D :D

When You Kiss Me-By Shania Twain

This could be it, I think I'm in love
It's love this time
It just seems to fit, I think I'm in love
This love is mine

I can see you with me when I'm older
All my lonely nights are finally over
You took the weight of the world off my
shoulders (the world just goes away)

Chorus:
Oh, when you kiss me
I know you miss me -
and when you're with me
The world just goes away
The way you hold me
The way you show me that you
adore me - oh, when you kiss me
Oh, yeah

You are the one, I think I'm in love
Life has begun

I can see the two of us together
I know I'm gonna be with you forever
Love couldn't be any better

Repeat Chorus

Instrumental Solo

I can see you with me when I'm older
All my lonely nights are finally over
You took the weight of the world off my
shoulders (the world just goes away)

Repeat Chorus

And when you kiss me
I know you miss me
Oh, the world just goes away
When you kiss me

  Hey there my homies. Havent updated this in a long while LoL My bad.

  Friday, I picked up Corey from practice and went to his house & played x-box haha then, we went to my aunt's for New Years. It was fun. I think, everyone really likes Corey and that makes me feel muchas better LoL bc I never brought a guy with me newhere except Joe but that was for Jeremy's graduation party lol but, they all liked him espically my little cousins *geezul* LoL But, we had fun. We played Disney scene it, UNO, and skip-bo. and watched the ball dropped yes a new years kiss hehe then, my mom drove him home. The fog was awful I was scared we were gonna go off the road lol

  Saturday, I got up and got ready 2 go 2 a Christmas Party at Corey's grandma's. I got a little dressed-up LoL I didn't want to look like I was trying top hard bc I meeting sum new family members. lol but, I had on a long-sleeved pink with green stripes sheer shirt that i got from aeropostale and i got into the car and Corey is wearing the same kinda shirt except it was white with blue stripes it was really weird. Brittani was like did u guys plan that and im like no and shes like nu-uh that is so weird and im like i know and shes like u guys are even wearing the same kinda pants *freaky* i know haha & Ally and Steph (2 of his little cousins) were uh..stuck up our butts I love little kids lol His grandma is the BEST!! She made me a really long scarf it is awesome. then, we went back to his house and Tee brought home her best friends little gurls and one was a little gurl that was 7 months. and I held her she was adorable. then, we just hung-out and I stayed the nite bc it was already 11 and I did fall asleep in his arms *awe* but he went to his bedroom haha then, i got up at like 11 on sunday.

  and, i got a shower then we went to the mall so I could get my ring. it's really pretty and it fits. I like it lol then we went to the toy store and got my little cousin sumthin for her b-day then we went to kohls and Corey made me pick out a shirt for him to wear so I found a white polo shirt with blue stripes I really liked it then we went back to thier house and he got ready while i fixed the gift then went to my house so i could change then went to Kiley's b-day party. It was fun, shes such a cutie tho i thought she was turning 4 really turning 5 its all good. I played polly pocket haha then we came back here and ate dinner and watched white chicks then i took him  home and i talked to his mom for a bit while she was copying pictures and we gave them pictures from the colorguard pictures and i swear hes gonna make a shrine of me now haha and Tee made a lot of pics of me haha to give to their family *great* haha at least they are good that is a good plus and theres prolly gonna be tons of pics of me around their house but that is ok

   so, school was 2day. *goodness* i am fn tired and it was just plain boring. Just doing the test craps and sittin around talking about the break. I wish i could sleep haha Corey wasnt there bc he hurt his neck yesterday, he has 2 verebrates not in place in his neck and the pulling is causing pain in his left shoulder poor thing so he called me and we talked for about an hour and half abotu stuff yaddah yaddah and ppl kept breaking through we could hear their convos it was really weird and i had to burn him a cd bc he'll whine if i dont lol but, he  should be at school 2morrow thank goodness tho i dont want to go but its all good i have no choice year and half left YES (i kow i wont be saying that for long bc ill be :(( but its ok lol)

  2morrow I got the basketball game home against Little Miami. Im going over to Corey's for a bit after he goes to the chriopather then coming back and going to go pick up Kacy and take her to the game bc she is a cool cat like that

  but that is it i need to get to bed toodles welp..see ya later

                     xoxo,
                      ~april karin
P.s. I love Corey M.! 

What is ur idol night out?

For starters
What do u notice first about a guy/girl?: Eyes and Smile
What do u look for in a guy/girl?: Great sense of humor and personality
Does skin color matter?: no it doesn't
Is long hair better?: *shaggy* is the key
Are tatoos a turn on?: Maybe one of his upper arm of a cross or barbed wire or sumthing of that nature but not a billon of them thats nasty
Favorites
Color?: baby blue
band?: early november
food?: cheese!
person?: Corey
friend?: Kacy
Random question
Do u have ur own room?: yeah i do *dur(

What is ur idol night out? brought to you by BZOINK!

  2day was an adventure. Kacy & I didn'y get lost...well kinda hahaha My bad went straight instead of turning right hahaha good times good times *you just flew past it*-Kacy

  I got up around 9:15 well my alarm did and I finally rolled outta bed around 10:00 and got ready @ 11:00 and @ noon went and got Kacy. She watched 'White Chicks" on the way down 2 the Eastgate Mall. I got the surround sound going on in the car, it was offically p-i-m-p! lol We were at the mall for a good 2 hours and a half or so. I got *tons* of crap lol I got a sheer long-sleeved buttonup shirt from Aeropostle. I got earrings and flowers for my hair from Icings. I got sum american eagle jeans from fashion shop and a cute belt and sum sunglasses which are really awesome. I got this really awesome pink hat from Rave. It is totally awesome! though it was a bigger deal than i thought it was gonna be lol (oppies) and, i went to steve n barrys and got Corey a couple of t-shirts bc it was buy one get one free (that is how i do haha) Nothing big just figured I would I have no idea why but hes my bpyfriend thats what im suppose to do spoil him rotten with my goodies (perv jpjp) I hope he likes them and wears one 2morrow haha Hopefully, the baby blue one. He doesnt own any of them colored shirts and i know he'll look hot in it haha I'll just tell him to wear it 2morrow if it fits dear goodness it better lol I know he has baby blue shorts and he looks fn hott in them so a baby blue shirt mmmm hhmmmm u know what im talkin bouts ;) winkwinks Kacy Ne got a really cute top from american eagle tho it took forever to pick it out I knew she was going to get it lol :D Saw alot of ppl there...Bethy, Miranda, Jessica Brandberger, Amanda Fugate, Lindsey Fox, Lindsie Moore, Laura K. Jason Irick, Chrsity Widner, Brittany and Nicky Fey, J.D. Molen, Justin Horton and Sam Fox. We were like 'whoa' lol

   Then, we went to Texas Roadhouse. I am a 'pig' but the food was awesome. yumyum if they ever got my order right lol

   then, we drove up to Wilmy. Kacy never did finish White Chicks but what she saw I know she thought it was fn hilarious. but, i had my pink hat on and Corey's mom is dying of laugther I didnt think it was that bigg of deal lol and C.J's grandpa was laughing and Austin's dad too but Corey's grandma liked it and didnt laugh lol Tee called it Elton John hat goodnesss i cant take that woman anywhere lol I guess it was a good laugh tho. then, Ally, corey's little cousin sat on my lap and showed me how to play mario shes only 2 shes adorable im so glad he has little cousin i can spoil and play with haha then, i watched the game haha They did really good won by 10. Corey scored, I think 22 or 23 points. He was awesome. Kacy and I couldnt find the bathroom that was hilarious i know we would have walked that hallway at last 5 more times trying to find it even tho it was on the other side of the gym LMAO good times. then, i gave corey his shirts tho he was like wtf? i dont care lol and he wiped his sweat on me again what a freak lol I still miss him bc we didnt talk all day 2day :( This sucks but oh well i guess. i think hes at jakes but theyre not on so i dunno he told me hed prolly talk to me nite on here but i guess not i wonder what they are doing prolly dont know what to know prolly asleep haha but all i have to say is he better call me 2morrow or else lol bc he said he was hanging out with me and calling me 2morrow he was def. and if not we will be having war lol

   but, kacy and i went to wal-mart bc she wanted the simple plan dvd but it was edited so she got mad lol and said forget this lol so we came back home to  blan and here i am now. freakin tired as i dunno what but im gonna stay on for an hour or so and see if dumb and dumber get on if not goin to bed and sleeping so i can stay up all nite long 2morow it is gonna be awesome! I really need to think of sum resolution tho i prolly wont keep them but u never know lol

   Everyone have an awesome New Year dont get too wasted or nuttin haha tho i know u will ill be drunk on dr. pepper haha talk to u folks laters toodles
  
                   xoxo,
                     *april karin*
P.s. I love Corey M.!

 
 

This past year:
Have your religious views gotten stronger or weaker?: stronger
Who were your best friends?: Denise, Kacy, Tracy, Lyndsie, Mary, Sarah, Che, Maddie, Erin, Ashley, Corey, Troy, Brian, Joe, Zeb, Evan, Tanner, Bethy, Daph, Miranda
Name your boyfriends/girlfriend:: !!!COREY!!! ..ex's That B dude and Jake
How long was each relationship?: Corey right now is 6 months & 5 days B-dude-3 months & 15 days Jake wasnt even a month
How was January: It was okay cant really remember it prolly crying most of the time and i was single heck yeahs hah
How was February: my b-day month! I turned 16 it was p-i-m-p and i liked Hodge haha
How was March: Alright I guess I remember taking Freestyle pics on troy's b-day lol
How was April: NYC!! It was one of the best months ever! it was so cool being there! & i went out with jake & realized to self i had a secert crush on corey shhh haha
How was May: and ppl found out about jake and i that sucks major booty but then ther was corey who wrote me a letter weird but i wanted to be single School was let out and the pool open
How was June: It was fun liked jake for sum reason but then i really liked corey but never said anything finally did and we started goin out the 24th and i got my licenses hehe
How was July: Band camp was an awesome experience and i went and watched corey play alot of baseballs games kacy and i had sum good times
How was August: school started on corey and is ann. that was fun though i missed him bc we didnt see each other that much but tennis started so that was awesome along with guard
How was September: pretty busy with guard and tennis corey played footbal so it was even more harded but it was stressful
How was October: corey got hurt then so he didnt play football things were winding down and won s.bc for tennis it was an awesome month
How was November: guard placed 5th outta 26th guard at finals was a good month and things were done for me for the winter tho basketball started ad corey b-day was alright lol
How was December: good corey and is 6 months on christmas eve christmas could have been better got a promise ring basketball is going good and im liking dec alot has happened cant wait til next
How many parties did you attend?: parties? uh like birthday parties and such? no idea too many at least one a month
Did you get drunk for the first time?: hahaha a little? a buzz but it was stupid i drank one can watch out but im not anymore that was like back in april lol
Did you lose someone you love?: yeah Shayne and my doggie Spot :(
Did someone have a baby?: yeah austin's mommy
Any new friends?: yeah alot of them!
Lose any friends?: yeah i did it stinks
Who changed your year?: im going to have to give that one to Corey he has changed it alot in a very good way
Anything you wish you could re-do?: omgosh yes!
What and why?: not go out with jake thats mean but i mean it and went and worked at cowan lake with troy this summer instead of the danggon pool
Did you lie to your parents?: Yeah
Did you lie to your friends?: Yeah a very bigg one at that im really sorry
Did you get lied to?: Yes I did and it sucks balls
Do you hate anyone new?: Yes I do
Does anyone knew hate you?: prolly but i dont really care if they dont like me deal with it
Are you glad this year is over?: not really its closer to graduation *ek*
Who do you want to thank for your bad year?: hmm....jake, josh cromer, my parents, sum other ppl but i wont say names the 99 problems lmao
Who do you want to thank for your good year?: all my friends and all our good times they couldnt have been better witout them and i mean my pareants are good too bc were on really good terms now
Do you think you'll keep the same friends?: yes i do forever
What is your new year resolution?: stop being lazy, get a job, apply for college
The new year:
Will you keep your resolution?: yeah prolly
How many more girlfriends/boyfriends do you think you'll have?: zero im staying with my baby, Corey
Anything exciting happening this year?: I dunno its not the new year yet
Who do you think you'll spend the most time with?: Corey haha
Who will you stop hanging out with?: hmm...that is a tuffy anyone who stops hanging out with me
Anything you hope to do this year?: yeah, sumthing awesome for my b-day, travel the us for coreys baseball games go to florida
Are you gonna kiss the same person this next new year?: Yes I pray to God I will
3..2..1-Happy New Year!: happy new year to you too!!

It's a New Year brought to you by BZOINK!

Love To Be?

Are you male or female?: Female
Are you attracted to male's or females?: males
Are you in love?: Yes I am
Does someone love you?: Yes they do
Do people often find you attractive?: I guess so
Is the person you love the person you think about most?: Omgosh 24/7
How often do you think about sex?: uh...i guess it crosses my mind everyday LoL bc im such a bigg 'perv' hahaha
Do you often think about having sex with the person u love or someone else?: with the person i love hehe
When you say I love you do you mean it?: Yes each time i say it
Who's the person that makes you happy?: Corey
Would you like to spend forever with that person?: Yes forever sounds nice
When the person you love says I love you, how does that make you feel?: really special that sumone actaully cares that much about me
Do you tell more than one person you love them?: like my mom and dad and friends but real love no just to Corey
Who do you love?: Corey
What would you do if they stop loving you?: be the end of the world i would never be the same i would be so lost
Has the person you loved made you cry?: yes they have happy and sad
Do you even believe in love?: Yeah I believe in it alot
What do you like most about the person you love?: He's everything i wanted in a guy, i can tell him anything and not worry about how stupid i sound, hes sensitive, hes hott haha
Have you ever cheated on the person you love?: omgosh no that is terrible
Would you ever cheat on the person you love?: no i would not that is just wrong on so many levels
In your heart do you really feel like it's love you feel for that person?: yeah i do i know its a really powerful love also i might not have all this bling-bling to show that but i know in my heart and wit him i stand for that im realy in love w/ him

Love To Be? brought to you by BZOINK!

Survey about your boyfriend

Favorite thing about your boyfriend?: everything...i can tell him everything hes always there for me he actually cares and of course hes hott :D :D :D
What color are his eyes?: Hazel *drools* lol
What color is his hair?: Brown shaggy teeheehee
Whats his favorite color?: blue i dunno haha
Whats his favorite movie?: Prolly Aladdin & White Chicks
When your alone what do you do?: uh the usual stuff like make-out lmao watch a movie or just have talks about *us*
Whens his birthday?: Nov. 29th, 1988
Whats his nationality?: I think its indian
Does he play any sports?: yup, baseball, basketball, & football
Whats his favorite number?: 21
Does he like candles?: I dunno
Ever done anything kinky?: omgosh yeah he is the goofiest person i know i swear hes a riot LoL
Taken a shower together?: nope havent done that one LoL
Are you in love?: Yeah like u wouldnt even know LoL but its awesome!

Survey about your boyfriend brought to you by BZOINK!

Countdown

::15 Random Favorites::
1: Corey
2: *friends*
3: tennis
4: cheese
5: White Chicks da movie
6: music
7: USHER
8: dr. pepper
9: my car
10: santa claus
11: dogs
12: sunshine
13: swimming
14: colorguard
15: my cell phone
::14 Favorite Foods::
1: cheese
2: chinese as in chicken fried rice
3: cheese fries
4: choc. chip cookie dough
5: sugar cookies
6: subway bmt
7: mcdonalds fries
8: tater skins
9: steak
10: baked potatos
11: white rice
12: turkey
13: hash browns
14: corn
::13 Most Watched Shows::
1: one tree hill
2: american idol
3: the oc
4: fairly oddparents
5: trl
6: full house
7: boy meets world
8: gilmore gurls
9: everwood
10: spongebob
11: anything on fuse
12: 106 & park on BET
13: Pimp my ride
::12 Good Bands in your Opinion::
1: NSYNC i have to represent my boys haha
2: Early November
3: taking back sunday
4: rascal flatts
5: the temptations
6: all 4 one
7: simple plan
8: fall out boy
9: yellowcard
10: hawthorne heights
11: THE LATEST HEARTBREAK
12: The Used
::11 Memories::
1: Anything with kacy we have so many insiders it is un-real LoL
2: Corey asking me out
3: living in Japan
4: going to myrtle beach
5: gettin my licenses
6: gymnastics
7: my doggie spot
8: my hilarious love life
9: freshmen year
10: riding in an airplane
11: having a short-term memory
::10 Close Friends::
1: Corey
2: Kacy
3: Denise
4: Tracy
5: Daph
6: Ashley
7: Che
8: Maddie
9: Troy
10: Joe
::09 Things you're looking forward to::
1: My years with Corey
2: Rest of high school
3: college baby!!
4: half-time show at the basketball games for winterguard!
5: my future in general
6: traveling alot this summer
7: having a new baby cousin
8: being a senior!!!!
9: having another year of fun with my friends having a blast!
::08 Things you wear daily::
1: underwear
2: bra
3: comfy socks
4: pajamas
5: shirt
6: pants
7: coat
8: scarf
::07 Things That Annoy You::
1: ppl who can not drive worth a crap
2: refs!
3: that annoying buzzer at the basketball games
4: the cold
5: ppl who talk it but dont walk it
6: the heater taking forever to heat up
7: that stupid spongebob movie
::06 Things You Touch Everyday::
1: my hair
2: the phone
3: the computer
4: the remote
5: food
6: my bed
::05 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over::
1: White Chicks
2: You Got Served
3: Drumline
4: A Walk to Rememer
5: Aladdin
::04 Of Your Favorite Childhood Toys::
1: my baby doll that looked like m
2: my blankie
3: my doctors set
4: my tricycle
::03 People You Have Kissed::
1: Corey
2: Jake
3: Aaron gerdus in like 5th grade hahahaha
::02 Of Your Favorite Songs::
1: Good Morning Beautiful
2: Yeah-Usher
::01 Person You Could Spend the Rest of Your Life With::
1: Corey McClanahan

Countdown brought to you by BZOINK!

Three Things

Three things that scare me:
1: spiders
2: death
3: being left alone
Three people who make me laugh:
1: Corey
2: Kacy
3: My mom
Three Things I love:
1: Corey
2: dr. pepper
3: music
Three Things I hate:
1: certain guys
2: ppl who cant stinkin drive
3: the frickin snow
Three things I don't understand:
1: guys
2: how ppl can be so blind and not realize how cruel they are to others
3: ppl who smoke and drink for the fun of it u dont remember doing anything neways
Three things on my desk:
1: scrapbook stuff
2: flowers
3: pictures, pictures, pictures
Three things I'm doing right now:
1: filling this survey out
2: talking to kacy
3: listeing to music
Three things I want to do before I die:
1: Sky-dive
2: get married
3: have a bigg ol' mansion
Three things I can do:
1: Play tennis LoL
2: drive
3: twirl a flag and gun hehe
Three ways to describe my personality:
1: hilarious
2: sarcastic
3: creative
Three things I can't do:
1: lift weights
2: cross my eyes
3: play basketball

Three Things brought to you by BZOINK!

   How you doin? Me, i'm just keeping it real Nothing exciting has happened. Monday, I got my ring resized from Corey. I wear a 4 instead of 5 1/2 and ill never know if its too bigg now bc Corey is never gonna give it back to me and im like til we're married and he's like nu-uh im not giving it back then either and im like fine..geezul hes a butt LoL

  Tuesday, I went up 2 the basketbal tournament (wilmington college). We lost to East Clinton.

  2day, I went back up to the tournamment and we played Wilmington for 3rd place and lost 69-49. The refs fn suck GOSH! it p'd me off so much...they were fouling left and right and like on purpose but oh no we barely touch them automatic foul! Gawd I dislike refs so much!! Gr! lol

  2morrow I am chillin' with Kacy! It is gonna be awesome! And, thanks to her I get to drive again! She is fn awesome! lol We're going to go hit up the mall, then texas roadhouse then to the JV game @ Wilmington High School. This is gonna be an eventful day I can feel it haha but, its gonna be a blast bc we always have fun teeheehee. I miss hanging out with her and my friends :( what a loser I am lol

  My mom and dad's 25th ann. was tuesday the 28th. It was really sweet the card my dad got my mom i didnt know my dad could be sweet like that and we went and got her snowbabies bc she loves to collect them things.  

  New years eve...im prolly going out to my aunts and corey is going with me hehe I finally get a new years kiss. You know I miss him LoL Though hes been back sunday. We saw each other for 3 hours actually 2 bc he fell asleep lol Monday I was gone most of the time at the mall so it was about 4 hours or so tuesday we talked on the phone for an hour then his game and yeah i saw him but that doesnt count lol bc im forced to do that jpjp and we didnt talk after the game really just kinda said hi 2day we didnt talk at all and i saw him at the game and afterwards we talked and we kissed like 5 times. i think he misses me as much as i miss him *bummer* :( I dunno why but I just had that feeling 2nite bc he was talking to his mom and i was standing there beside her and they were talking about sumthing and im just standing there being as patient as i could be lol and he looks at me and jsut the look in his eyes told it all and he comes up the stairs a little more and leans over and gives me a kiss and im thinking *awe* & i know i wont get to hang out with him 2morrow either which i know i should feel bad but i do i mean hello i get to hang out with the one and only kacy but i miss corey. but i do have to see him all day friday, saturday and sunday so i guess i shouldnt complain haha For some reason, now im being more serious about this, its to the point where he means alot to me and im just trying to figure out where it all stands and i know its good but im just thinking bc God forbid ive had alot of thinking time. & i know i say it all the time but he really does mean alot to me and i cant let that go. I cant even think about him ever being gone from me it just crushes my heart and i want to cry. but i know that wont happen but its hard not to think about i dunno, i just wish he knew how much i love him but its too hard to explain bc words cant even begin to describe it and im sure he feels the same way its so weird but at the same time the greatest feeling ever.

   okay im done rambeling haha i need to be gettin to bed talk to ya floks laidher
toodles welp...see ya later

                                xoxo,
                                 ~april karin~
P.s. I love Corey M.

   Alright I really dunno where I am going with this but im going with the flow. I feel like I should get stuff off my chest I guess, just a feeling I have.

  Alright for the ppl that really know the 'real' me know I'm a *hopless romantic* when it comes 2 "boys" but, I could never find the right one for 'me'. I was nicknamed 'The Love Doctor' bc I could help everyone out with their "relationship problems" but it has never made sense to me, how it always seemed that I knew what love was and how to achieved that happiness but I wasn't happy in my love life. And, every time I did like a guy, he never liked me back or he was just wasn't the right one. There was always sum flask and to come to think of it, maybe the reason I was like that was bc I knew what was good and what was bad for me in a guy and trying to find one that was 'right' for me was hard bc I knew one little flask in them would turn them away from me bc I couldn't deal with it, knowing there was better out there for me. But, it got to the point where I was desparte. I mean, alot of my friends had gf/bf & when I did like to listen to them talk to them it sumtimes made me feel lonely and like I was never gonna find sumone. so, peer pressure did take a toll. I do admit, there were sum guys that did like me but I didn't like them or I liked sumone else (that was a bigg mistake on my part) But, when it came to the guys that I liked who would never go out with me...omgosh was I ever a dummy. I mean, I was taking sumthing outta my butt and making it into nothing. I could name several but I'll save myself the embrassment but im sure my friends can name quite a few haha but, that is alright. I mean, I guess everyone did that right? At least once..I just feel like I did that alot. And, I know I mean I KNOW haha I was a flirt & I liked alot of guys and I always changed like week to week but we never hooked-up so u see where the self-esteem problem comes into the picture? and, ppl are always like u are so pretty I cant believe u dont have 10 bfs and its like yeah riight u ppl are insane. and, high school comes around. A totally diff. experience. Though I still had the same problem. Freshmen year, I was 'dating' sumone but that didnt work out, and that was when I had my whole year crush on a senior HAHA though, that was prolly one of the stupidest things I have ever done to myself I wouldnt change it bc I had fun with it and I learned alot from it also. By then, I started to figure out what I really wanted in a guy. and, u know guys came and went freshmen year and u know, sophomore year rolls around *dear goodness* and, okay I shouldnt regret anything that happened in the past since I wouldnt be where I am 2day but there are just certain things that I do wish I knew now I knew then. Like, okay I went out with Brett (rolls eyes) for 3 months and 15 days lol and, yeah lets just say ill never do that one again but isnt like almost 1st time relationship a bad experience? You learn what to do and what not to do and what u really want in a relationship. I found that trust, honesty, and communcation is 3 bigg must. So, u know I should have gotten out of that real fast but i didnt. I liked the feeling of security. But, the last month things just blew-up into flames. It was just too much...I mean he was a pothead and it got choosen over me, I knew it was going to espically since I was against it. And, he just did stuff and its like he had the nerve to do that? and, so we had this like i dunno 2 or 3 hours talk about it and he was breaking up with me and i didnt want him too though i dunno why but prolly bc i wanted to break up with him. and, his reasons were so pathelic and its like it all comes down to this and I wasted my time on his lameo excuses..only went out with me to get to know my butthole haha and, he felt when he talked to me he was talking to a little kid bc his vocab was better (omGAWD) and he felt he was too old for me just bc he was 18 and i was 15...but, u know i wasnt really in love with him, I was just in a relationship for the first time and there was no way I could tell him I loved him in that short of time bc i really didnt know what love was to me. and, I suppose u think i went to school and bawled my eyes out everytime I saw him and i couldnt make it but with the help of sarah and denise that didnt happen. I went to school the next day all dressed-up with a smile on my face not a fake one either, it was a real one. I will never forget when I walked into the lunch room laughing and smiling and he looks at me and his mouth drops open, it was awesome. and, he came and went though I will never be his friend again bc i heard alot of fed up shit he did after we broke-up and that is not cool went to a stril club the week after, done acid, drank beer, and had a gun so i wasnt very happy and he still had the nerve to try to talk to me though it did tickle my pickle a bit it ticked me off even more even if he wanted to be friends there was no way in heck i was going to be though it is stupid to be like that, but we were never friends in the first place. Why be sumthing we never were? seriously. So, I learned alot of lessons from that one too many to list right now though one was it's better to be good or just even friends be4e going-out. so, yeah there was this other guy, though i really never have figured out what we were really were or anything it was just crazy but another gurl beat me to him but oh well, not that bigg of deal to me anymore. and, then *dododo* came the mistake of all mistakes lol Alright everyone knows I went out with Jake, and hes not a bad guy or anything but we really shouldnt have ever went out lol I mean, what I did with him was nothing like me. I dunno what I was thinking, I guess it was just flattering to have sumone into me & a mistake that i must learn from & me just being a kid. And, im sure pretty much everyone knows what happened...though u wouldnt expected it I did. I hated myself forever about it I mean I really did hate myself and I hurt alot of my friends bc I kept it from them bc I was so ashamed. My life was horrible for a long while and then I just say good-bye to guys. I was through with them...I mean, Jake still wanted to hook-up and Corey (of all ppl) tried to get us hooked-up again and I guess we were going to or were and I kinda messed that one up (that was my fault) and, though i broke-up with him for a stupid reason I learned a lesson. But, I really didnt like anybody and I was done. And, yeah I received a letter from Corey I dunno how long after Jake and I broke-up but I did. It was a bit odd...bc I mean, it was Corey I only really started to talk to him bc of him and lyndsie and me and jake. And, we had a nice little okay nice bigg long talk at one of jake's soccer games but I didnt know anything tha he was thinking. The letter was just a normal letter, like we were just friends writing back and froth but then I got to the end "..so do u like anybody? smile face :) haha if so, you should tell me" and I just ingored it thinking he was just being nice. and I told him no. and, then I started to hang-out with Joe, Troy, & Brian all the time bc I didnt have to worry about guys and I basically did what I wanted. So, that was how it was in til' the summer. I had a job @ the blan pool & u know, that is where I hang-out during the summer. And, usually I find sumone that is "eye candy" lol At first, I was just a bigg flirt ya know pimpin it up with kacy-ne haha & i wasnt really looking for a relationship just going with the flow. Kacy and I were straight up P-I-M-P-S haha. I still talked to Jake and everything...when I got my licenses I went and picked him up we were homies. I talked to about everyone and made alot of new guy friends mostly from the sophomore and frosh groups and yea, i thought alot of them were hott haha but I didnt like any of them. but, of course, the unexpected happens of course in my life why didnt i see it. And, of course the unexpected person was Corey McClanahan. Alright, you know, how there are certain boys or gurls that u talk to and know but it never crosses ur mind abuot liking them bc u feel that, they're too good for you and they're not ur type? That's how I felt about Corey. I mean, I knew who he is but it always seemed like he was going out with sumone and I never talked to him so u know, there was no way for us. But, then him and Lyndsie started talking and that's how it all started I guess. I mean, yeah I thought he was one of the hottest sophomore er well he was a freshmen then whatever but, I dare didn't say anything lol And, after that, we started talking more and we just sorta clicked. It was weird but there's just them certain ppl you automatically click with and I made Corey one of my good guy friends. After Lyndsie and him broke-up we didnt talk and he tried to hook me up with Jake again and that was just odd. Jake & Lyndsie both tried to tell me I liked Corey but I told them they were nuts bc i wouldnt like him and all he was, was a good friend but I guess they were right haha. I mean, hello! Any normal person would feel the same way, he was Jake's best friend and Lyndsie was one of my best friends and I just didn't think he would ever like me so there was no way. So back to the summer. At first, he didn't come up there, like I guess secertly in the back of my mind i was like please please please bc i knew he went up there. And, he started to come up there eventually and we talked. You know nothing bigg bc I was talking to everyone flirting it up bc I was flying solo for the summer. I can pick out alot of days that when he was there I was always around or if I was there he was sumwhere around. We were just like together but not together. He def. was a show-off lol and, I guess he always flirted with me esp. when I was life-guarding but I let it slide bc u know, there was no way in heck he would like me. And, then I wil never forget the day when I went to pick up Jake and we pulled in and Corey was playing basketball and I was getting sumthing out of my car and Jake had already left and I went to open my door and Corey was right there and I was like HELLO! but, I knew right then, that I did like him and I remember after that he made me go play basketball with him. And, after that, I realized that I was gonna have to start admitting that I liked Corey even if he didn't like me. And, I mean looking back on it, I dunno how I could have been so blind to the fact that he liked me more than I thought. One day, I walked out to my car and him and tanner were playing basketball and Corey kept going if I make this basket April's gonna go out with me and im just like yeah sure whatever. It was flattering but I thought he was just doing it to be doing it. and, the day, I told Mary. She wasn't all that surprised I don't think anyone was. They all knew it just waitied for me to admit it. but, I still didnt think he liked me. And, the day came when we finally both admitted it and him, joe and i were standing at the counter talking and Maria pulls him to the side and she asked him if he would go out with Ashley Wood but he said no and he came back and told me and im like why did u say no? and hes like bc im about to ask sumbody else out and im like who? and he wouldnt tell me then he said shes from a diff. school and im like oh? and im thinking well, that sucks i guess its not me and my chances just went down the drain LoL then hes like come play basketball with me and im like no and hes like come on and im like alright. so, we did but then we went down to the 4 foot with our boggie-boards and we just talked and played with Zane and here comes Carly to break the ice and shes like i gotta ask u sumthing and i knew what it was and so i put the boggie-board up and Coreys having a cow like i dont like secerts and thats not fair and im mad now and im cracking up and she askes me and im like maybe and shes like u do dont you? and im like yeah and shes like awe when u guys going to go out? and im like uh and then he was whining and hes like tell me and I went to play with Zane and I was like Carly u can tell him and shes like really? and im like yeah and i heard her say i asked her if she liked u and hes like and she said? and she said yes and hes like nu-uh i liked her forever and hes like awe april and im like what? it was really funny.

    And, i really dunno why I just told that story bc I wasnt trying to do that oh well. But, Corey did start off like all the other guys bc I didnt know everything about him and during the summer we hardly ever saw each other it was pretty bad & it was like this isnt gonna last long either. but, then we talked about it and he told me he liked for awhile and he told me all this stuff and im like just like there is no way? and things just came 2gether. I mean from what I knew of him he had alot of qualities that I wanted in a guy. Hazel eyes, brown hair, tan, really tall, muscles, played football/basketball/baseball. Yeah it was great. But, I didn't want to get high hopes.

   But, you always hear how when u find the one for you u just know. Well, thats how I felt about Corey. Though i wasnt in love with him or anything yet I just felt like I could be with him forever. And, for being sumone who felt like they were never gonna find sumone its nice for a change. And, though sumtimes I fear im going to lose him i think back on that hes not bc he feels the same way about me that I do him. Like, I know sum ppl feel that there is noone out there for them but love always comes when u least expected it and at the weirdest times. Don't look for love, let it find you. Finding Corey def. was beyond my control. I just finally stopped trying so hard & when a guy would come around he would and he did and it happened unexpectly but it was a blessing. Now, it's still hard to take in...I still can't get over it. And, I just never cared about sumbody so much and so scared of losing them but at the same time I am just the happiest gurl. I'm so thankful that I finally found my 'angel'.

                   ~april~